| Lord Bowler is dead. |
[Aug. 22nd, 2008|11:47 am] |
Pancreatic Cancer.
This cannot be true. I refuse to believe it. Nothing can stop Lord Bowler!!!!
A.K.A. actor Julius Carry, for those of you wtf-ing right now. Google it and see what you missed.
This totally cannot be right. Seriously. Some stupid cancer cannot take down Lord fucking Bowler. This has to be one of those internet rumors like JTT. Somebody please find me evidence that he is, in fact, alive and well.
I remember seeing him pop up on an episode or two of Boy Meets World back in the day and being completely ecstatic to see him again.
He was the greatest.
I'm going to go watch all my old Brisco videos and cry now.
P.S.
Does anyone remember Ashleigh Aston Moore from Now & Then? She played young Chrissy? She died a few months ago as well. She had moved to Canada to get out of the spotlight and focus on her life and, I don't know, be normal I guess. Unfortunately she became a heroin junkie and died of a respiratory infection. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|01:44 pm] |
I'm feeling a little better than I have throughout this holiday season. Finally decided to attend Mark and Carrie's New Year's party tonight. I can't wait to start a fresh new year.
If I can survive a house full of strangers tonight while remaining reasonably sober and classy, and even have a good time... that would be a GREAT sign of things to come in the new year.
Good luck everyone, and have a safe and joyous New Year's Eve. |
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| Grinchy McGrinch |
[Dec. 22nd, 2007|04:15 pm] |
As I watched the newscasters proudly display the success of their toy drive, with video of truckload after truckload of brand new toys being delivered to needy kids, I knew my heart was supposed to be warmed and my faith in humanity renewed with holiday spirit.
However, it wasn't, for I could not escape this single thought:
They're just fucking toys.
People are going out and purchasing brand new toys. Truckloads and truckloads of them. With money that could have been used to donate food, build more shelters, supply necessities like shampoo and toilet paper. But... toys?!? Cheap plastic assembled by slaves in China? What the fuck? I'm sorry, but nobody NEEDS TOYS. When you're dirt poor and you have to go without such luxuries, you learn some valuable life lessons, such as that very fact: They're just. Fucking. Toys.
Oh oh oh wait, that's right, we need toys at Christmastime to help us brainwash children into perpetuating the patriarchal myth of Santa Claus, a sort of Christian-God-with-training-wheels. Awesome.
Call me bitter, but I'm calling bullshit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|07:29 pm] |
So it looks like somebody actually stole my wallet right here at work.
Bastard people.
I didn't have any cash, and they can't really use my bank card, but they took it anyway and dumped my wallet near a port-a-potty down the street. Some nice person found it and sent some of the contents, along with a friendly note, to the address on my license, which happens to be my Mom's apartment. So I got my license back, along with my library card, Blockbuster, & Safeway cards. But not my lovely wallet or any of the sentimental things that were inside. That makes me sad.
Anyway, I cancelled my card and should have a new one in 7-10 days.
Buncha jerks I tell ya. |
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| *All I wanna do, is read some books...* |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|04:46 pm] |
Currently reading: The End of America by Naomi Wolf. It's fantastic and everyone should read it NOW.
Just arrived today: Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, and Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters by Courtney E. Martin.
Coming next week: The first 3 Amphigorey collections by Edward Gorey.
Life is so good when you fill it with books. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|03:09 pm] |
ATTN EVERYONE:
I want Rainbow Brite things. Lots and lots of them.
That is all. /end |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 3rd, 2007|01:35 pm] |
Livejournal never fails to answer all my questions for the day.
I <3 U LJ!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2007|02:19 pm] |
Alarm at US right to highly personal data
Religion and sex life among passenger details to be passed on to officials
Jamie Doward, home affairs editor
Sunday July 22, 2007
The Observer
Highly sensitive information about the religious beliefs, political opinions and even the sex life of Britons travelling to the United States is to be made available to US authorities when the European Commission agrees to a new system of checking passengers.
The EC is in the final stages of agreeing a new Passenger Name Record system with the US which will allow American officials to access detailed biographical information about passengers entering international airports.
The information sharing system with the US Department of Homeland Security, which updates the previous three-year-old system, is designed to tackle terrorism but civil liberty groups warn it will have serious consequences for European passengers. And it has emerged that both the European parliament and the European data protection supervisor are alarmed at the plan.
In a strongly worded document drawn up in response to the plan that will affect the 4 million-plus Britons who travel to the US every year, the EU parliament said it 'notes with concern that sensitive data (ie personal data revealing racial or ethnic origin, political opinions, religious or philosophical beliefs, trade union membership, and data concerning the health or sex life of individuals) will be made available to the DHS and that these data may be used by the DHS in exceptional cases'.
Under the new agreement, which goes live at the end of this month, the US will be able to hold the records of European passengers for 15 years compared with the current three year limit. The EU parliament said it was concerned the data would lead to 'a significant risk of massive profiling and data mining, which is incompatible with basic European principles and is a practice still under discussion in the US congress.'
Peter Hustinx, the European Data Protection Supervisor, has written to the EC expressing his 'grave concern' at the plan, which he describes as 'without legal precedent' and one that puts 'European data protection rights at risk'.
Hustinx warns: 'Data on EU citizens will be readily accessible to a broad range of US agencies and there is no limitation to what US authorities are allowed to do with the data.'
He expresses concern about 'the absence of a robust legal mechanism that enables EU citizens to challenge misuse of their personal information'.
Hustinx concludes: 'I have serious doubts whether the outcome of these negotiations will be fully compatible with European fundamental rights, which both the Council and the Commission have stated are non negotiable.'
The new agreement will see US authorities gain access to detailed passenger information, from credit card details to home addresses and even what sort of food may have been ordered before a flight. In addition, US authorities will be free to add other information they have obtained about a passenger, leading to concerns about how the information will be shared.
It has emerged that neither Hustinx nor the European parliament were aware of the final draft of the plan.
'If you are going to have this kind of agreement it should involve parliament and the data protection supervisor,' said Tony Bunyan of Statewatch, the civil liberties organisation that campaigns against excessive surveillance.
He warned that under the new system the data will be shared with numerous US agencies. 'The data protection supervisor and the European parliament are angry that they were not consulted,' Bunyan said. 'But they are also angry with a number of elements of the plan such as giving the US the absolute right to pass the data on to third parties.'
Simon Davies, director of Privacy International, another group that campaigns against state surveillance, said the new agreement gave huge powers to the US authorities. 'We have no guarantee about how this data will be used,' Davies said.
A spokeswoman for the Information Commissioner's Office in England and Wales said it would be discussing the matter with European counterparts shortly. 'We are working with the European Data Protection Supervisor and our other EU data protection colleagues to come to a joint opinion on the level of data protection set out in the final agreement,' the spokeswoman said. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2007|01:02 pm] |
Your Score: Sad Cookie Cat64% Affectionate, 46% Excitable, 55% HungryYou are the classic Shakespearian tragedy of the lolcat universe. The sad story of a baking a cookie, succumbing to gluttony, and in turn consuming the very cookie that was to be offered. Bad grammar ensues.
To see all possible results, checka dis. |
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| Please ignore this entry. |
[Jul. 5th, 2007|02:10 pm] |
This is just a list of high-fiber foods, posted for my own reference. But hey, maybe y'all could use some more fiber too, eh?
Avocado 1 medium 11.84
Black beans, cooked 1 cup 14.92
Bran cereal 1 cup 19.94
Broccoli, cooked 1 cup 10.97
Green peas, cooked 1 cup 8.84
Kale, cooked 1 cup 7.20
Kidney beans, cooked 1 cup 13.33
Lentils, cooked 1 cup 15.64
Lima beans, cooked 1 cup 13.16
Navy beans, cooked 1 cup 11.65
Oats, dry 1 cup 12.00
Pinto beans, cooked 1 cup 14.71
Split peas, cooked 1 cup 16.27
Raspberries 1 cup 8.34
Rice, brown, uncooked 1 cup 7.98
Soybeans, cooked 1 cup 7.62
3 pcs. 3.18
Pear 1 medium 5.08
Pistachio nuts 1 oz 3.10
Potato, baked w/ skin 1 medium 4.80
Prunes 1/4 cup 3.02
Pumpkin seeds 1/4 cup 4.12
Sesame seeds 1/4 cup 4.24
Spinach, cooked 1 cup 4.32
Strawberries 1 cup 3.98
Sweet Potato, cooked 1 cup 5.94
Swiss chard, cooked 1 cup 3.68
Turnip greens, cooked 1 cup 5.04
Winter squash 1 cup 5.74
Yam, cooked cubes 1 cup 5.30 |
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| On the Emptiness of Obama |
[Jun. 14th, 2007|12:19 pm] |
By GLEN FORD
Barack Obama is the antithesis of Black Power, a man who promises with every word he speaks, with every nuance of phrase and body language, and through his voting record as a U.S. Senator, that he personifies the definitive end of black organized struggle in the United States--a unilateral surrender to white racism. This is his appeal to the white masses: that they will no longer be challenged to confront history, or to relinquish privilege in the present.
Obama's siren song to African Americans is of an entirely different nature. He does not have to sing it; we provide the music, ourselves. The lyrics and melody are actually alien to Obama, but he has heard them off and on in his strange sojourn through life, and senses their power to sway us. He understands that most of us will demand nothing from him--not even elemental allegiance. His "black" flank, he knows, is covered, while his white "progressive" flank is neutralized and confused by black failure to recoil at his betrayals of the most basic elements of social democracy. The field is wide open to the greatest opportunist to emerge from melanin-rich ranks in the New Millennium.
Obama has already cashed in on his "Race, but not really, Card"--to the tune of $25 million dollars in contributions in the first three months of this year, three-quarters of it from corporations. This does not happen by accident. Since setting foot in the U.S. Senate, Obama has directed his entire message machine to the task of convincing corporate America that he is a friend who can be counted on to leave the actual Power Game in their hands. One of his first votes was to transfer most class action suits to federal courts, where multi-billion-dollar companies found guilty of race, gender or general employee abuse are fined the equivalent of the millionaire CEO's latest weekend at the casinos in Monaco. In the process of taking class action suits out of state courts, where the penalties to offending corporations have historically been much harsher, Obama voted against an amendment to put a cap of 30 percent on credit card debt charges. A fraction of that multi-billion dollar gift to the most unproductive sector of the economy wound up in his campaign coffers.
The alienated man from Kansas, Hawai'i, Indonesia and Harvard has not skipped a beat in his pursuit of Power Approval. He stood down while only California Senator Barbara Boxer stood up to challenge the theft of black voting rights in the 2004 election. He coddled American Manifest Destiny queen Condoleezza Rice and Bush Supreme Court nominees, while doing nothing--absolutely nothing--to materially aid Katrina victims. He has stuck like Crazy Glue to positions on the Iraq war and health care that are practically indistinguishable from Hillary Clinton's--and in no way threaten the military-industrial complex or health care-insurance industries. Obama vows to add 100,000 more troops to the U.S. aggression and occupation force, to be deployed...wherever his masters want them to go.
Obama is a company man. He knows the language, the subtle and overt signals, and emits them like a beacon. Ruling circles have gotten the message, and that is why corporate media have made him a contender, and corporate billfolds have financed him. The "skinny kid" made his bones at the Democratic National Convention, in August, 2004, while he was still an Illinois senatorial candidate--a shoo-in against the hopeless and deranged black Republican Alan Keyes. Obama put all white fears to rest: "There is no white America. There is no black America. There is no Latino America. There is no Asian America. There is only the United States of America." Hallelujah!
Therefore, there is no specific oppression of Black people in America (carried out by whites), and there is no Black polity worth paying attention to. Voila, the problem of centuries is solved!
The litany of Obama's subsequent transgressions against the entirety of black struggle is too long to recount in this article, and can only be understood as methodical elements of a studied plan to eliminate race as a subject of debate in American political life. Obama is the NOT-Black candidate, who just looks black, and will absolve white folks--like a priest behind a screen--of historical, present, and future sins. He will integrate the mythical American narrative, washing it clean of real facts by his very presence and gleaming smile. He is happy. White folks are happy. Blacks are happy. Oh, happy days!.... |
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| hair problem |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|06:07 pm] |
Hi there. I need some advice. I recently decided to go platinum blonde for a while as I wait for my hair to grow longer so I can do some other interesting things to it. A friend recommended this hair dye remover to start out with, which got me to a cute-but-not-what-I'm-going-for strawberry blond, without any apparent damage. From there I decided to use this "born blonde" stuff with a color chart on the box that promises white-blond results on pretty much any shade, except for very dark brown which still gets you a pale yellow. So I used that, and now my hair is BRIGHT YELLOW. Oh, except for the roots, which the instructions said to do last... I did them last and waited a good hour or so, and NOTHING HAPPENED to the roots. They are my natural dark blond. It looks ridiculous. Oh, and it's all a little fried.
So! At this point, can anyone help me to get white-blonde without too much further damage? And also, hopefully, without costing too much more than I've already invested in the first two attempts?
Thanks for any and all input! |
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| and isn't that just perfect... |
[Jan. 28th, 2007|01:27 pm] |
Your True Love Is a Taurus
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Why you'll love a Taurus:
Romantic and sentimental, a Taurus can provide you with the security you need.
And you both share a fondness for the finest things, from great food to luxury vacations.
Why a Taurus will love you:
You have the honesty and direct approach that down to earth Taurus desires.
And enough elegance to show a Taurus a few new decadent delights!
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2007|06:47 pm] |
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Maybe there really is something horribly wrong with me. After all, he’s not the first to make an exception on cheating just for me. When the evil M came back after 4 years, he STILL had never cheated on anyone else. And sure enough, when we hooked back up he started boning some myspace ho behind my back and ended up ditching me for her. Again. Is it me? I’m not the kind of girl to jump to “there must be something wrong with me” very easily, but in this situation I can’t help but wonder. What the eff. Do I have “CHEATABLE” written on my forehead or something? Do I possess some characteristic that makes me particularly more cheatable? What’s so goddamn special about cheating on me and only me? Do I really somehow drive people to commit this act of betrayal? |
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| RC BACK IN ACTION! |
[Jan. 25th, 2007|02:07 pm] |
Yesterday was supposed to be moving day, but everyone dropped off the face of the fucking planet. So I’m still stuck at the apartment with Rich. At least we’re able to be civil to each other now. He’s obviously very sick so I offered some of my medicine. He let me use his laundry detergent. We say “hey” and “see ya” and “good morning” and “good night.” So it’s not too bad, but there are still things. Like the ring I gave him. He used to wear it all the time, except when he was unhappy with me. Then he would take it off, and leave it in an obvious place for me to see that he had taken it off. It always seemed like he was trying to make a point with that. Like, to punish me or something. I don’t know, maybe I was reading too much into it. Anyway, ever since New Year’s, the ring has been sitting right there on the bathroom counter. It hasn’t moved. So every time I go into the fucking bathroom, I get that lovely little reminder. I want to go put it away in his room so I don’t have to look at it, but I shouldn’t even touch it because he might get pissed off.
And then there are the nights he stays over at (what I’m assuming is) her place. It’s funny, I don’t want him there at home, but then I find it depressing when he stays out overnight. I heard him on the phone the other day. I wasn’t listening, but then he cleared his throat and got louder and said “Your place? Oh, no I have laundry to do in the morning.” It shouldn’t bother me. It’s not like I even want him. But last night he didn’t come home and today I would’ve rather killed bunnies than gotten out of bed. Ok, maybe not killed bunnies, but I couldn’t really bear the thought of getting out of bed. So I didn’t until I absolutely had to leave for work at noon. I don’t understand why it bothers me but it makes me want to curl up in my bed forever and ever and ever.
Maybe it’s not even that. Maybe it’s everything. Maybe I’ve been kidding myself about being okay. Maybe I’ve been in denial and now the depression is taking over. I shouldn’t even be depressed. Things are looking really really good for me. But they’re not happening fast enough. I’m impatient. I want to get out and move on NOW. I don’t want to deal with this shit anymore.
Or maybe it’s because he’s right and I’m just too fucked up to live. |
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| it's oh so quiet |
[Mar. 15th, 2006|07:39 pm] |
Frozen. Like the song. The video. Every memory crushes me. Some little unexpected thing sets me off. Triggers me. Strangles me. Why did I feel the need for things to be secrets? How long and why did I operate this way? Now that I am in a real relationship, I don't know how to do it. It was difficult to handle people slowly finding out. Guilt burns my every muscle. Your name comes up every single fucking day. It's okay, he says. He knew what he was getting into. But you haunt me. I'm guilty for you. I'm guilty for him. I'm guilty for everyone. I still have the fish in my freezer I was going to make for you. I can't eat them. I can't let him eat them. Those were for you. I finally finished your mixtape. I've sang 5 times at karaoke now. You were so happy when I told you I'd done it the first time. I miss you. My mom says he's nice, but I know she doesn't like him as much as she liked you. How can I love him when I still feel you so much?
I learned some things after the fact. You hadn't intended to keep me around much longer. Hell, I was already not around anymore. I was so not good for you. Not good enough for you. I never deserved you. And I don't deserve him.
The last time I saw you we didn't kiss goodbye. The morning after Thanksgiving. You asked me what I wanted from this. We wanted the same thing for the time being. But I had thought I could actually date you if I decided I was ready. Finding out I couldn't, at least not until you were ready too, kind of stung and freaked me out. So that night I slept with someone else. I'd been with only you for a while. And he stuck around for 2 weeks. You knew about him. He didn't know about you. We still talked. We still wanted to see each other. You wanted to meet my new friends. We were going to come over and watch movies. The last time I talked to you I was on my way to see them, but we couldn't come over that night because it was the other guy's last night in town. And then he left. And then you died.
I hadn't come to see you in two weeks.
You had done so much for me. You helped me get through losing my best friend. You helped me to be comfortable in social situations. You showed me genuine caring and kindness. You even catered to the secret desires I shared with only you. And I never even came to see you DJ. You asked me every week, but I was too scared to dance. I wanted to see you, but you would have been busy working, so I just never came. It was a lot of travelling to only be able to watch you from afar.
I don't play pool anymore. I miss you. |
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| alive |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|12:19 pm] |
trying so hard to do what you would want me to do.
trying so hard to do the right thing.
trying not to hurt anyone's feelings, but the fact is that it's much too soon for me to even think about being with someone. oh i've been thinking about it, but now that it's a possibility i realize that it's not right. it's not real. it's not healthy. i need to hide for a while until i deal with myself and what happened with sean and all the feelings he left me with. i need to deal with those feelings, not try to stick them on to someone else.
but i know, i know he would want me to go on living and having fun and singing and dancing and flirting and all the things i just.can't.do.now.
i keep life, and people, at arm's length, thinking that it's just until i get it figured out better. until i know it's safe. but who ever figures out life? and how can you ever really know that you know a person? i want to stop this. i want life. i'm sick of being afraid. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2005|08:53 pm] |
Our first date I told him I was undefeated at Scrabble. He said it was the sexiest thing he'd ever heard. Our second date he challenged me and won. I blamed the drinks and insisted on a sober rematch sometime. We never played again.
I did tell him my real name once. He said it was his mother's name. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2005|08:26 pm] |
I had sworn off dating for a while. "And then a sweet dork boy came along to tempt me. Grrr." That's what I wrote in my other blog. "But I will keep a safe distance. I mean he must be fucked up if he likes me."
Nope. He wasn't fucked up, as it turned out. He was a perfect gentleman. He was everything I wanted. And he even liked me. He wanted to be my friend. He wanted to see me and talk to me and make me feel good. He remembered things I liked and surprised me later. He comforted me when I was troubled. And he asked nothing in return. I knew, I knew it was too good to be true.
That's why as much as I cared for him, and as open with me as he was, I could never do the same. I never told him secrets or deeply personal things. I had that dread all along and it stopped me. I hid everything and just made sure to look pleasing and act properly and make everything perfect for him. I thought this way I was safe and he'd never hurt me.
I was so wrong. If I could go back knowing he wouldn't have hurt me even if I showed him my every imperfection, oh god I would do it. I would let him in. I would. But I didn't know how. I was terrified at how attached I was already, I couldn't possibly risk more. The only tools at my disposal to express my feelings were flattery and physical affection. I'm sure he didn't understand the genuine meaning behind either. But I meant it, Sean. I meant it. Every kiss and every complement was my sad and secret way of saying "I know I love you more than you love me." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|09:13 pm] |
my lover is dead.
i want to be with him.
it could have been anyone else, and that would have sucked, but why god why the fuck would you take away the most special boy i ever met? i loved him and you knew that and i fucking hate you and i'll never love anyone ever again so FUCK YOU.
you must really hate me. well you know what? this time i know i could not POSSIBLY HAVE FUCKING DESERVED THIS. fuck you. fuck karma. fuck truth. fuck justice. fuck life. i feel like going on a murdering spree. kill babies and priests. take my hate and stab you with it and make you fucking hurt like this. |
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